Though this year end is 3 good months away, it somehow feels like a year end now. What can happen in 3 months anyway? Actually a lot or nothing. If the last couple of years were all about growing up, being responsible for your words and action, falling and getting up and learning, this year has been all about being a grown-up person. I feel I have done a lot, thought a lot, undone a lot and acted a lot like a grown up this year and I couldn’t be any more proud of myself. It is funny that I say this because the one thing I promised myself this year beginning is still undone. I only look plumper and my waist size is the same. But about that, later.
Being grown up is not easy, I have gathered, at least the initial years of it. You are still unsure of your decisions, especially the ones you take for others. You are now well into your working years and you meet younger people, make friends with them and lo, behold! You are their advisor – parent issues, weight issues, boyfriend issues, work issues, trivial issues, which these poor souls don’t realise doesn’t even classify to be an issue. And through it all, you are the best listener, best responder and they look up to you in wonder. Once you are done, though, your only prayer is what you said works. In fact, it is a bonus if it does. Being able to tackle the issue for them, though verbally and making them feel better itself is a grown up thing.
Being grown up and married would mean you can hardly see yourself amidst the worry lines and the pile of responsibilities put on you. You are now capable of running a house and your finances are well taken care of. You have the best relationship related tips, you feed the bachelor friends/cousins living in the same town of yours and you even could raise a completely new human being!
Personally also, being grown up means a sea of turmoil inside you and you are lucky to find some calm from time to time. By now, you have set your life goals, at least sort of and you might also be heading in the direction already if your stars are in your support. You realise how stupid your dreams were 3 years back and re-install the updates in your life. You decide for yourself and a lot of people way behind the line who are depending on you because you have the “life experience”.
One of my biggest lessons though can be summarized into this quote I read somewhere:
When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting.
It is funny, again, how it feels as if the first 20-25 years of your life, you haven’t really lived. You were breathing but you were just being told what to do, your mind was not controlled by you and more than any output, you were just being given a lot of inputs. And now that you know basics, you are pushed off the cliff and you live. You learn a lot of things on the way too but then you give out a lot too.
You get recognized. You are known.
And, however, sarcastic my words were above, I love every single bit of this experience.