Sunday was my rest day. But I got up anyway and walked for 5-6 km around a lake early morning. I had two tender coconuts thereafter, merrily chatting away with the vendor, who politely invited me to visit him again the next time. I was back home all pumped up and had a wonderful day, which also involved playing scrabble with my sisters after long. I enjoyed every bit of it.In the evening, I had this heart to heart conversation with my best friend about how I have been good this past few weeks and how I am looking forward to being the same. I shared my lessons with her. I was proud that even a Sunday couldn’t break me.
I never imagined, a Monday could.
My husband had to leave real early for work today so I skipped my walk and ended up doing few Surya Namaskaras instead. It was good but I was not as pumped up as I would have been if I had been out breathing fresh air. Once the husband left, I had the whole day to myself and hardly anything on my to do list. Reminded me even strongly how badly I need to get back to going for work.
I watched a few stuff on my laptop, didn’t cook, hardly ate and was glued to my sofa for most part of the day. The afternoon was especially difficult. I was reminded of the days before the big change happened. I hated it. I could feel the good me slowly trickling down and the perennial lazy me taking its place. I had to make a choice, my mind was on war.
Now for a normal person, this may sound weird, but trust me, you don’t know how badly a lazy mind can influence you. It is more of a disease than a state of mind. It is a strong one and hard to win.
I reminded myself of my conversation with my best friend last evening and started feeling ashamed of myself. I was angry at myself. I had decided when I started doing non-lazy stuff that if I don’t win this time, I am done. It was the last chance I gave myself. I couldn’t let myself down. It petrified me.
Slowly, this post started forming in my head and thankfully, my laptop was lying just next to me on my coffee table. As always, I decided to write it off and get myself moving. I can already feel the cloud clearing in my head and I am able to think clearly. With a strong cup of tea, I am going to kick-start my day now.
PS: If you are reading this and you have been stuck to a place for more than an hour, get up, take a short walk, call someone, drink something and get yourself moving! It is never too late.