Emotional Turbulence

Sometimes I feel, instead of blood, my body is filled with a sea of emotions.
They flow through my body around my organs and into my brain. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad and sometimes a million other things that we feel.
Sometimes there is storm of emotions. I try hard to not succumb to it and sail through it. I control myself. I distract myself.
It is not necessary that it happens when I have achieved something in life or lost something precious. It could happen tonight, when there is nothing happening, out of ordinary. Except the excruciating heat and humidity here, which is keeping me awake now.
Every time I try all the ways I can to calm this storm without disturbing my mind. Finally I feel it.
I feel it welling up in my eyes. I still try not to think about it. But finally it flows. Free flow.
It streams down my cheeks onto my neck and sometimes into my ears. And then it lands on my pillow. It comes in leaps and bounds like the rain during a thunderstorm.
I cry.
Those tears cannot be stopped anymore. They have to be left to dry.
At this time, I feel like a wrecked ship, finally giving up and sinking in a storm.
It stops only after all of it flowing through my body is out for good.
I don’t wipe those tears, because I’ll have to continue doing it. I let them dry in the wind that comes from the speeding fan above.
I finally let that gut feeling go and it does what it always does. It makes me cry.
And then, it feels like the calm after a storm. Not a soul in sight.
I sleep.


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