I usually hardly ever look back on the year gone or plan anything for the year to come. I never make any resolutions because they have never worked for me. This time however its different. 2014 was a half super good and half super bad year of my life, thats a first for me. I always have more good things happening in my years rather than bad, at least from whatever I remember. I was in UK till April and the time till around June-July was superb. I was re-united with my husband after 5 months, we went for a vacation and I was home. Then the cards started to fall one by one until the last one remained. That last one would hold the happiness I got from solitude.
Not only am I in a LDR with my husband again, which is horrible on both of us, I am also not happy where I am career wise. I have plenty of free time but my situation is such that I cannot put them to good use. Up to an extent, its true, I am lazy too but a bigger portion corresponds to where I stay and how is my life in this city. The phrase Nothing is Impossible might be true but it should be altered to Nothing is impossible, with a price to pay. What if you cannot pay that price? What if doing so will jeopardize your future? I am stuck here going with the flow, something I hate.
I am a plan person. I plan, I list, I execute and I hate when there is a change. Technically speaking, I can say I am not an agile model! I don’t see that as a great trait because life is such and one needs to be tactful enough to find peace in all situations. I am unable to locate mine.
Part of the last week of the year and the beginning of 2015 was spent in a place I used to live 11 years back. It not only brought back a bucket full of memories, but enjoying it alone had its ups. The leisure time, away from everyone and especially internet and mobile gave me so much of peace. But anything too much is not good, so is not the solitude, I am very well aware of it. But it was a very much needed break for my mind. I will not say I came back refreshed because I am still dead tired but I did come back more determined to make 2015 better for myself. Be selfish a bit if needed but heed myself before anybody else. I came back with some decisions to stick to.
2015 is going to be the most unpredictable year of my life. Anything can happen, literally. Its impossible to chart out a plan or make a To-do list. But I am not going to sit quietly and go with the flow, repeating the mistake I did last year. I have found the nooks and corners which are still in my control and I am going to work on them. Make them the center of my life until everything else falls into place. I have added two new pages to this blog, you can see on the top right corner of your screen.
I hope your year is not as confusing as mine! Leaving with a pretty picture I clicked during my New year break.